“What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” -Harry Burns
The first in the The Meg Ryan Trifecta and arguably[1] the best of the three. This particular film embodies the "Boy Meets Girl, Boy and Girl Become Friends, Boy and Girl Eventually Get it On" plotline, a staple of the genre.
You've probably seen WHMS. If not, rent it. If you won't rent it, read this. But you're missing out on what is probably my number one rom-com of all time.
What You Need to Know About the Plot:
Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) and Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) meet for the first time outside the University of Chicago just after college because Sally has agreed to drive her friend’s boyfriend to New York. From the moment they meet they can’t stand one another, which in movie speak, of course, means they’re heading towards matrimony.
It’s during this trip to NYC, after spitting grape seeds on Sally's car window and listening to the complicated way she orders pie, that Harry makes his infamous statement (above) about the inability of men and women to be friends.[2] Sally says it’s too bad, since he’s the only person she knows in New York, but drops Harry off in Central Park and they go their separate ways.
A few years later Sally is saying goodbye to her boyfriend Joe at the airport when Harry crosses her path. Sally’s relieved when he doesn’t seem to recognize her, though once they’re on board the plane, after hearing her order “regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters then add a splash of Bloody Mary mix, just a splash, and a little piece of lime, but on the side,” he pipes up with, “University of Chicago, right?” He traps her in conversation, telling her he got married, and invites her to dinner as “just friends.” Sally points out that he didn’t believe men and women could be friends, and as soon as the plane lands, she ditches him in the airport.
And a few years after that they meet once more in a bookshop where Harry is lurking in ‘Personal Growth,’ watching Sally and her best friend Marie (Carrie Fisher). Sally has broken up with Joe and Harry’s just split from his wife Helen. He invites Sally to dinner – again, just as friends. This time she accepts, and it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Over time they talk about anything and everything without feeling pressured to impress, like whether or not Ingrid Bergman should have stayed with Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca or how much cuddling is too much cuddling, sharing their sex dreams and date disasters. At one point they try to fix each other up, but their dates - Marie and Harry’s best friend Jess (Bruno Kirby) - decide they like each other more.
While shopping for Jess and Marie’s wedding, Harry and Sally run into Helen in the Sharper Image with her new beau, causing Harry to have a meltdown in front of the karaoke machine. He accuses Sally of being an emotionless harpy when she broke up with Joe, though when news of Joe’s engagement reaches her, she breaks down and invites Harry over in the middle of the night. And you know what that means...
The morning after Sally is blissful and Harry is panicked. He escapes her apartment as quickly as he can, leading to a conference call between the injured parties and their best friends about what a mistake the evening was. Harry and Sally grow apart, depressing them both, and though Harry tries to make amends over Christmas, they end up having a giant argument at the wedding.
Fortunately on New Year’s Eve Harry realizes he’s in love with Sally and runs to find her at a party where she’s having a miserable time. She doesn’t want to listen to his declarations, but he tells her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and the rest of his life starts now. The clock strikes midnight, and they live happily ever after.
Who’s Who:
Sally Albright, like her name implies, is overly optimistic and incessantly cheerful. Among her ‘quirks’ are her very particular eating habits, her Days of the Week underpants (apparently they don’t make Sunday “because of God”), and her remarkable ability to fake an orgasm (see “I’ll have what she’s having.”) She’s high maintenance, but she thinks she’s low maintenance, which according to Harry is “the worst kind.” Regardless, Meg Ryan is at her most likeable in this film, probably because she plays a flawed character who lacks the sticky-sweetness of some of her other rom-com roles.
Harry Burns has a very dark side, and he loves it. Hobbies include reading the last page of a new book first so that in the event he dies before finishing it, he’ll know what happens, and telling people that hieroglyphics are really an Egyptian cartoon about a character named Sphinxy. Though he’s not what you’d call ‘chatty,’ he’s also not much for self-editing, and pretty much says whatever’s on his mind, though never talks about actual feelings if he can help it. A typical male role model.
Marie is Sally’s best friend who has an affair with a married man for years and years despite knowing that he’s never going to leave his wife. She’s around to make Sally seem reasonable, but after she gets together with Jess, she becomes the reasonable one, so then she becomes dull.
Jess is Harry’s best friend and not a complex thinker. He’s as blunt as Harry without Harry’s eloquence, which is ironic considering he’s supposed to be a writer for New York Magazine. He’s really kind of a boob and at one point owns a wagon wheel coffee table that Harry calls something from a “Roy Rogers garage sale.”
Helen Helson is Harry’s ex-wife, a lawyer who dumped him for a tax attorney named Ira. In retrospect, the fact that she didn’t change her name after they were married should have been a big clue.
Joe is Sally’s ex-beau, who told her he wasn’t interested in marriage, but in reality just didn’t want to marry her. The first and only time we see him, he’s got pretentious politician written all over him. Played by former-President Gerald Ford’s son.
Things You Might Have Heard Before and Where They Come From:
“I’ll have what she’s having.” Probably the most infamous line from the movie, it refers to the big diner scene where Sally fakes an orgasm at the table to prove to Harry that he wouldn’t know the difference between that and the real thing. Otherwise known as ‘that scene.’ If you want to know if your significant other’s been putting you on in the bedroom, best to key this scene up on YouTube. If she was born in the seventies, chances are good this is where she learned it. Bonus Trivia: the line is said by director Rob Reiner’s mother.
“You made a woman meow?” While swinging at balls in the batting cages, Harry explains why he enjoys having a female friend, pointing out that he can talk to her about anything without feeling uncomfortable, even great sex. His buddy Jess gets hung up on the ‘made a woman meow’ part.
“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Pretty much one of the best lines ever said by a man to a woman – and not nearly as sappy as “You complete me.” (See Jerry Maguire.) Only real trouble with this one is that if you say it, you actually have to mean it.
Survey Says:
The first time I saw this movie, I decided this was how I would meet my future husband; love would evolve after years of friendship. Unfortunately, most of the men I'm friends with are gay, and that kind of patience is a rarity in our high-speed culture anyway. Plus, Harry's right: sex does always get in the way.
The woman who can watch Harry meet Sally ten thousand times is looking for more than a one-night stand – and what’s more, she’ll most likely want to be ‘friends first.’ Also, she knows how to fake an orgasm. But don’t run away just yet. While she might be uptight, or overtly perky, she could also be the best friend you’ve ever had, whether you’re looking for someone who’ll make a fool of herself in the middle of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, or someone who’ll sing off-key karaoke in a retail store. Chances are, she’s the one.
[1] There will always be someone who will argue this point with you. Always.
[2] This was before the term ‘fag hag’ had entered the common vernacular.
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